I've blown a few things in my day
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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