If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
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