sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
its not stalking. its research.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
