pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
