i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
