I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
