well I can't set my house on fire every night
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
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We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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