i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
