haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Can I color on your dick again?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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