i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
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