i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
