i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
