ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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