If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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