I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
