my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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