oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
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