we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
