It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
