seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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