I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
