break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
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