Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
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