i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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