I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
im six kinds of drunk right now
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Randomize
