quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
