My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
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