How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
