1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
