Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
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