I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
a search helicopter?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Randomize
