Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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