so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
