I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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