problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
