Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
