living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
