This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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