well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
