His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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