Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Randomize
