fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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