Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
