no, he came in my armpit
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
