I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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