she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
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