3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
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Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
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You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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