glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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