If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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