remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife