i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
