her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
