Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(407): View more from Florida

I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"

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(407): I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!" http://tfl.nu/fhku

Replies (40) Good night (1742) Bad night (6189)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?

(617): View more from Massachusetts

Umm..who the fuck is this?

(781): View more from Massachusetts

Oh shit

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(781): Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them? (617): Umm..who the fuck is this? (781): Oh shit http://tfl.nu/ik4c

Replies (54) Good night (2189) Bad night (6484)
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(619): View more from California

Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.

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(619): Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes. http://tfl.nu/4wgk

Replies (45) Good night (28914) Bad night (2289)
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(804): View more from Virginia

why weren't you at the audition last night?

(1-804): View more from Virginia

booty call before role call

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(804): why weren't you at the audition last night? (1-804): booty call before role call http://tfl.nu/sna4

Replies (17) Good night (5194) Bad night (956)
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(641): View more from Iowa

Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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(641): Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in. http://tfl.nu/co4b

Replies (16) Good night (4193) Bad night (1125)
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(256): View more from Alabama

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..

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(256): It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.. http://tfl.nu/zyk4

Replies (9) Good night (2648) Bad night (1192)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting

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(702): Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting http://tfl.nu/9kwe

Replies (7) Good night (2012) Bad night (1031)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s

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(402): Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s http://tfl.nu/nt41

Replies (5) Good night (1985) Bad night (689)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?

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(908): my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"? http://tfl.nu/76qz

Replies (11) Good night (1370) Bad night (573)
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(914): View more from New York

The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted

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(914): The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted http://tfl.nu/dd19

Replies (3) Good night (1514) Bad night (459)
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(281): View more from Texas

Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.

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(281): Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me. http://tfl.nu/lutc

Replies (11) Good night (583) Bad night (1631)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.

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(+44): When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits. http://tfl.nu/jw7g

Replies (3) Good night (451) Bad night (1204)
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(703): View more from Virginia

OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK

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(703): OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK http://tfl.nu/irl1

Replies (8) Good night (946) Bad night (390)
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(505): View more from New Mexico

Is being in jail an excusable absence?

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(505): Is being in jail an excusable absence? http://tfl.nu/1yic

Replies (1) Good night (408) Bad night (513)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.

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(609): I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me. http://tfl.nu/juje

Replies (3) Good night (513) Bad night (256)

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