why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
