covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
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my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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