have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
