I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
