When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
