I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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