Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
