I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Enjoy the penises
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
