Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
you had me at cake vodka
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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