u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
