Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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